Have you ever had a dream that felt so real that you werent really quite sure if you were still in your dream or if it was real life?
That happened to me last night.
Long story short, I was having a horrible, terrifying dream, a nightmare if you will. A parents WORST nightmare.
& i awoke to our little girl crying. Needless to say, i woke up even more freaked out than i was in my dream.
I RAN to her room, picked her up & cuddled her & rocked her back to sleep as tears ran down my face, then went back into our room & sat on the bed.
I woke William up & all i could say through my tears was "hug me.."
He was completely confused.
But he hugged me & comforted me.
I proceeded to tell him about my dream as i cried & cried, I was so worked up! It felt so real!
It was THE scariest dream i have ever had in my life
After he got me calmed down, i layed down & tried to go to sleep.
But it seemed that every 10 minutes or so i was up again going to check on our little girl..
then every half hour after that i was waking up..asking william to check on her because i was too scared to go down the hall.
"Shes still in her room right?" I would ask him.
"Of course she is sweetie, she is safe, go back to bed.." he would say, so calmly.
I've never reacted to a dream this way. It was like i coudnt seem to seperate dream from reality.
I never thought i would see the day that i would get so worked up by a scary dream, But like i said, it truly felt so real & i couldn't help but psych myself out.... all...night.
Becoming a parent has put me in a completely diferent mindset. Its almost like im in "defensive mama mode" constantly, always looking out for danger, ready to protect my baby & this mindset seems to have taken over my dreamworld.
I cant even begin to explain what a good happy feeling it was to get up this morning, knowing that the night was over. & that our little girl was safe in our arms. But now i'm scared to go back to sleep..
Has this ever happened to anyone else? Is this a NORMAL first time parent thing? or am i just a total spaz..?
I have totally done that, but I promise it gets easier as you get more comfortable with being a parent. It also gets easier when they turn one because you have less fear of SIDS. I still go and check on her when I feel like she is sleeping for longer then normal. I also have to check on her when every I get home from past her bedtime. Being a mom is scary sometimes. This too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteI have dreams like that every few months and it is really hard to shake that feeling, but I still only have myself to worry about. I couldn't imagine feeling like that with a little one. Have you considered a camera or motion sensing baby monitor? A family I babysit for has the Angel baby moniter like this, http://www.amazon.com/B%C3%A9b%C3%A9Sounds-Angelcare-Movement-Monitor-Parents/dp/B0000E262S, and it's just an extra peace of mind. I've found the less stressed and safer you feel while awake, the less likely you'll have a dream like that.
ReplyDelete